I’m afraid I don’t have any numbers for you today. I completely forgot to step on the scale today.
Mostly, I forgot because we’re still unpacking. It is a culling of stuff as well as unpacking, so everything gets a little more consideration than it would usually.
As I get rid of stuff the Bloke and I no longer need, I think about the influence of weight in my life and how – as a young woman – I ‘needed’ the weight. I needed it to feel safe because, in my mind, only pretty girls were in danger of negative behaviour from men. I needed food because it was the only thing (until I discovered writing) that comforted me through the abuse I didn’t understand and couldn’t define.
I look at the things that used to comforted me, that I used to love, that I kept simply because someone I care about gave it to me… and I feel better for being rid of them. They were things that no longer had a purpose for the life and person I want to be. I understand why I kept them, but now it’s time to let them go.
And it’s also time to let the weight go.
I now have wonderful things like books, baths (I wasn’t allowed to take them without permission as a child – permission rarely granted) and a wonderful husband to comfort me when I need it. I am a grown woman who can defend herself. I have access to plenty of healthy, delicious food as well as exercise equipment.
Now I just have to put the old habits out with the old things.