Checking In – Happy Birthday to Me

Yep, that’s right; it’s my birthday. Hehe. And I’m feeling pretty damn good.

After a fortnight or so of flu, I finally got out of the ‘everything will be right’ fog denial and got back on the Wii Fit on Monday. Wow. Yep. Gained some weight. Now being closer to my starting weight of 264 than to my ‘I’m finally feeling good about me!’ weight of 220 was a shocker. I should have known it was coming, given how little I’ve been doing lately, but it still had me upset.

But then I changed my mind.

I knew I had to do something, as you do when you have ‘that’ moment of looking at the scale, shaking your head and knowing you don’t want to go back ‘there’. I don’t want to. I didn’t realize how truly good I felt at 220 until I gained some of the weight back. Now I get ovary twinges again, my hip isn’t happy with me, and I feel fat in a way I didn’t at 220. Needless to say I haven’t worn a pair of my regular jeans in a while, instead opting for what I have that’s a bit bigger.

Instead of melting into a puddle and forcing myself to get my act together because I had to, I decided that wasn’t the way to go. After all, hadn’t I started all my changes that way? Out of fear? Out of being upset? I decided that this time would be different.

I would start my new lifestyle out of a good place.

The first thing I did was get out of the house and into the sunshine. Then I walked to the shops and got a haircut. Gasp! I now have fringe/bangs! Layers! Fluffy hair I actually do stuff with instead of putting up in a clip every day!

The universe was definitely backing me up on the ‘starting from a positive’. The haircut was free because they had a newbie on. The meal replacement bars I like because I have a hard time eating during the day were on sale! For half off! A saleswoman saw me with the boxes in my arms and stopped by to give me a pep talk, wishing me the best.

So what could have been a horrid, horrid day full of “I have to do this” became a day of “I want to do this”. I even found some excellent books at the library that focus on the emotional components of eating rather than diets.

I started this all on Monday. Because I knew that I didn’t want to start on my birthday. By the time my birthday came, I needed to be doing something about my health. It sounds weird to me even now, but I couldn’t start another year of starts. I needed to start a year already doing something. And so I have.

Good stuff.