I decided to be brave today and post my weight statistics.
Starting Weight: 264
Current Weight: 254
Ten pounds gone! I should be happy, shouldn’t I…
Maybe because I’m doing work on some diet guru’s blog or maybe I’m still extra vulnerable right now, but I’m really not feeling the joy over my loss right now.
My weight keeps bouncing around in increments of two pounds, which is completely fine when you’re still in the beginning of a diet and your body is trying to figure out what the heck is going on.
I just feel like a failure for some reason. Don’t ask me why. My logical mind says I should be thrilled – I’m well on my way! My emotional mind is still a scared little girl afraid of disappointing anyone for any sort of perceived slight. I don’t feel like ten pounds is good enough.
I’m in such an emotionally sensitive place right now, and I’m not sure why. I’m just going to deal with things as they come and take care of myself as best I can.
There is a shining light in all this, though.
When Mr. JM came home, he immediately noticed I was in a down mood. We talked a bit and he asked me if I had done anything to compromise my diet. I was almost confused for a moment.
The old me would have used this as a perfect excuse to go off the diet. The new me? Well, I didn’t even think of going off the diet. Truly. It didn’t even occur to me.
So progress is happening – even on the psychological front.