Starting Weight: 256
Current Weight: 250

Measurements:

Left upper arm: 15.75?
Right upper arm: 15.5?
Bust: (measured in blue sports bra) 48?
Waist: 44.5?
Hips: 50?
Left thigh: 28.75?
Right thigh: 28.5?

BMI: 40.4

Like I said, I’ll only be doing measurements about once a month, but weigh-in/check in will happen every Monday. Feel free to participate and let me know how you’re doing, what you’re feeling, and generally how it’s going.

A very important part of weight loss is having a support group, and I love to talk!

Yeah, this is another one of those weeks I just don’t want to weigh in. But, as Jenera was kind enough to remind me, we do this to hold ourselves accountable…

And so I shall.

CW: 262

I am well and truly at my highest (known) weight. It’s not a good feeling, but I’m – surprisingly – not freaking as much as I was last week. For a few reasons…

1. I’ve probably b*tched and moaned about it enough and you’re sick of hearing about it, but Melbourne went through a pretty serious heat wave last week. I drank heaps of water but was still visiting the loo the same amount – even a little less at a guess. Which means I’m retaining what litres I didn’t pee or sweat out.

2. Because of the heat and having to escape to air conditioned places to avoid complete brain melt, I didn’t get time on the elliptical. I’m back at it today and am looking forward to seeing my results next week.

3. On the 12th I’m going to hopefully get some answers to all the frustrated questions I have been having.

4. It’s not about the numbers; it’s about how I’m feeling mentally, emotionally and physically. I do myself no favours by stressing myself over this.

5. It’s a beginning. Yeah, I’m at my highest weight, but that means I can start over and really dig my heels in. I’ll probably start the weigh in week numbers over after I’ve been to the clinic… but then again, maybe I won’t. I’ve come this far. No need to pretend it didn’t happen just because something is wonky and I’ve gained.

So here I am. Deep breaths, exercise, and keeping calm. I’ll make it. You’ll make it.

We all will.

P.S. I have a lot of ‘catching up’ to do if I want to make it to 6000 minutes on the elliptical, but don’t worry – I haven’t forgotten about it!

I really don’t want to post this. I mean really, really don’t want to post this.

Even though I’m feeling confused and I don’t know what’s going on with my body, I still feel almost… ashamed that my fitness friends are going to read this. Like I’m going to get kicked out of the fitness club or something.

I know that’s utter BS, but still.

Okay, deep breaths.

SW: 256
LW: 254
CW: 260

Ugh. I feel like crying just typing out that number. I told myself that I’d never get to 256 again and look where I am now. I don’t understand. I didn’t have an ice cream cake night. I didn’t have an all-night bender. I don’t eat potato chips or snack mixes anymore. I don’t drink soda but for the occasional sprite. Even being sick this weekend didn’t down the pounds.

What happened?

One possibility is phantom TOM. I’ve been having the yucky stomach, tender/big boobs and headaches that come with TOM. Taking it for granted that I’m on a 28 day’er (which I have no way of knowing for sure), and calculating from August ’08 – the last real TOM I had – Jan. 19th should have been the start of my TOM. So, it could be leftovers from whatever hormones are streaming around trying to get my body back into proper working order.

I’m holding onto that for now and hoping that, though annoying and depressing, this is actually a sign of good things from my improved eating and exercise regime. Honestly, though, I have to hold on to that because I might just give up if I don’t have a reason for this gain.

I’m being utterly careful for the next week. I’m weighing myself every day, drinking more than minimum water every day. Nothing even close to naughty.

I’ll fix this. I’ll figure it out.

I hope you all are doing wonderfully. Truly.

SW: 256
LW: 253
CW: 254

Well, there is no beating around the bush this week – I landed well and truly on the 254 mark.

I suppose for this past week, I can only blame myself. The elliptical needed to be fixed, so I didn’t get my regular time on it. While I made up for that with a lot of walking and some jogging (!), I can’t help but think that I needed to do more to match the amount of calories I would have burned using the elliptical.

It was also Mr. JM’s birthday, so I took him out for an indulgent meal where we both ate too much. Thankfully, the ‘too much’ consisted of seafood and veggies and then we split a single piece of chocolate cake, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been (eg. Party snacks and beer – not that I would drink beer). I do know that I probably should have had more activity on the weekend to help make up for the amount of seafood and veggies I had.

I’m very happy to say that I finally went out and bought a stability (exercise) ball. It’s a big blue one and it has been a lot of fun working on my core stability. Even if it has made me a bit sore getting used to constantly balancing. But that’s what it’s for.

I’ve also noticed that my body seems to be in a state of flux, so to say…

Remember back when I said I was having an ‘I feel fat’ week? Well, it sort of went away, but not completely. I feel like all my weight is shifting to my middle. Instead of feeling like a ‘solid’ woman, I definitely am feeling more like I’m fat around my hips and abdomen.

I told this to Mr. JM and he said that I should measure myself straightaway because knowing whether or not I have actually grown in that area or if I’m just feeling like I have can help come time for my appointments… So I did measure myself…

Plus about two inches since January 9th. Ugh. Even factor in human error – maybe I pulled the measuring tape a little tight last time or did it a little higher this time – that’s still so much… I don’t even know if that’s a good, bad or just a weird thing, but you can be sure I’m going to ask about it come February 12th.

Maybe I need to be doing sit ups or something as well.

How is everyone else doing?

I actually forgot about weighing in for a little bit. Eesh. You take one week off and your mind goes to fluff… BUT I do have the numbers, though they are not very exciting.

SW: 256
LW: 252
CW: 253

Not happy. Not happy at all. My scale sucks, so I could be at 254. I’m considering buying a digital scale to get rid of the uncertainty, but I don’t know if the more exact measures would drive me nuts or not…

Today I’m letting myself have a day just to be pissed off. I’m not going off and hauling into a carton of ice cream, but I’m not going to berate myself for feeling sorry for myself. I’m going to be pissed off and that’s that. I don’t think denying I’m upset about a gain – a gain! Despite all my hard work! – is going to do my any good. I need to get the feelings out of my system so I can get back to it soon.

Needless to say, though, I’m getting more and more eager for my appointments next month. I really want to do/take whatever is necessary so I can get my system back into swing.

I’m just trying to keep in mind that by keeping going now, I’m keeping in place the good habit I’ve set up. Better to have them there and working for me while I get my system balanced/fixed than to start from scratch next month.

And now for my minutes of exercise update…

I’m still quite behind where I should be as far as minutes go, but I had to take Sunday off because it was obvious my body was in need of a rest. I’ve also figured out that, for right now, twenty minutes continuous is pretty much my limit.

Instead of continuing to stress out my body, I’ve decided to do thirty minutes a day by breaking it up into ten minute sections three times a day. I’m not stressing my body so much that way and I’m getting in even more exercise time.

How is everyone else doing?