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Books for Focus

26 Aug 2010 | By Jaime

In another life, I’m a wannabe novelist who reads a lot. In my writer shoes, I know that reading a lot is one of the ways to become a good writer. From reading, you absorb what it means to have your own voice and style. Reading in your genre teaches you what works and doesn’t work. Reading also gives you a wide appreciation of the craft.

When I am working on a novel (which is pretty much at any given time) I am usually reading at least one book. It helps me to focus on writing.

Now picture me walking up the street to my place, shopping bag with fish in hand, and pausing for a moment as I have a lightbulb moment.

If I read fiction to keep the craft fresh in my mind and to help me stay dedicated to keeping up my writing, then what about the health side of things?

I had my lightbulb moment the other day and, while wishing I had thought of it much earlier, I went to the library for some books. I grabbed what I could find on emotional eating, body intelligence, basics of healthy weight loss, etc.

And you know what? It’s been working.

Reading these books hasn’t stopped me from doing some silly things or eating things I shouldn’t, but it has kept my health in the forefront of my mind. As someone who spent most of her life not giving a chicken’s butt about herself, I need help getting into the habit of thinking about me and my well-being on a daily basis. Reading books on health have helped.

The first book (review coming next week) didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know, but reading it every night before I went to be and sometimes during the day kept thoughts of a healthy me fresh in my mind.

In a strange way, it was a sort of accountability, too. I wanted a chai latte, but I felt a bit hypocritical having it and reading about how I should cut my sugary drinks at the same time.

Call it a weird strategy, but if you live a busy lifestyle, this could be the thing for you to do until you get in the habit of thinking of yourself every day…

Category: Books, General  2 Comments

What Works?

12 Aug 2010 | By Jaime

When I told The Bloke that I’d hit the “I refuse to let myself gain anymore weight back” point, he told me that I needed to sit down for some reflection. I needed to figure out what worked in the past and what didn’t. He wasn’t just talking about diets, either; he meant which bits and pieces worked for me.

After much thought, I know these things work for me:

*Cutting out 99% of bread, potatoes and rice (I am a former carbaholic)
*Going raw (calms down my mind)
*Meal replacements (helps me create a sense of control that helps me to not binge)

With those things in mind, I have created a balance that, I think, will work well for the rest of my life. The meal replacements won’t be a part of my life forever, but they’ll help me maintain control while I take the steps in creating the framework for a healthy life. Right now I use meal replacements for breakfast (to get me used to eating then in the first place) and to help me have a sensible lunch. When I’ve been at this for a while, I’ll be switching to lunch salads and healthy breakfasts (smoothies! oatmeal!). Otherwise, I’ll be going mostly raw with my eating.

But, after all that thought, I also realize that the big ol’ elephant in the room has a “Hi, my name is EXERCISE” on his chest and is looking at me with little patience in his expression.

I work from home. I’m a bit shy, so I don’t get out socially a lot. The gym is too expensive. I have Wii Fit, which has been working, but I have a hard time sticking to an exercise program. I have yet to figure out what works for me for exercise.

I’m open to ideas.

What works for you for exercise – especially when you just start? Is walking your thing? How about rewards? Are you a morning exerciser or night? Spread it out in doable chunks through the day? Do you do anything creative to get yourself to do it or do you not need to?

Category: Diets, Exercise, Food, General, Getting Started  One Comment

Do Others Benefit from You Being Fat?

21 Jul 2010 | By Jaime

I was recently talking to a friend about a tense situation she was in the middle of with one of her family members. I remembered back to when my family situation got so bad that I ended up cutting ties and moving across the world.

The thing is people tend to not like change – especially when they are benefiting from things staying the same. In my friend’s case, her family member benefitted from being in control of her. It’s when my friend started standing up for herself and not obeying the whims of the family member that things started getting a little sticky.

The same sort of thing happened in my case when I started trying to stand up for myself and become my own woman. And the same thing can happen to you when you’re trying to lose weight.

Whether you’re the ‘fat friend’ to skinnier people or friends/family with people around your size, you could be giving friends or family benefits you don’t realize you’re giving them.

In the case of the former, having the ‘fat friend’ around makes the others look better. In the latter, people may feel more comfortable around you because they feel like they can eat whatever they want.

When you start changing and getting fit, you may be met with smiles on the outside but also a bit of negative energy in addition.

Whether or not they realize they are doing it – often they won’t realize it and will deny such behavior – you need to take stock of what is really important. If getting fit is important to you, you might need to make some tough decisions.

Have you had to make tough decisions in regards to influences on your fitness journey?

Category: General  Leave a Comment

Honesty

24 Jun 2010 | By Jaime

Does anyone else know the Billy Joel song ‘Honesty’? Anyway…

I was wandering around Hanlie’s blog (I do that a lot, lately) and she mentioned in this post about having a gain over the holidays and posting it on her weight stats page. It got me thinking…

I hate reporting a gain. I’ll do it – I’ll be honest, but I really hate reporting a gain.

I feel like I have ‘failed’ everyone who reads my blog somehow. Therein lies the double-edged sword of keeping yourself accountable by long. It’s a great motivation to keep you going, but when you gain, you feel guilty.

Not to mention that my weight loss (or lack thereof ) goes beyond ‘I need to shape up my eating and then I’ll lose weight’. I’ve shaped up my eating (I used to be a soda, chocolate, fast food, and pretzels girl – all processed all the way), been exercising more than I ever have and I’ve been sticking at the same weight range. Yay for hormones (or whatever is going on).

I would still rather have the risk of guilt than no blog – I love the support! And supporting others – but it’s always tough to report a gain. But then again, maybe it’s just all in my head and I have weird guilt issues when it comes to gaining weight. That’s always possible.

Does anyone else run into this? Do you have any feelings of guilt (or anything else) when you report a gain? Or do you have no trouble posting gains? Do you use it as further motivation?

Category: General  2 Comments

What Would You Do?

10 Jun 2010 | By Jaime

When 451Press, and my blog on their network, went down the crapper, I decided to carry on with a new website. My own website where only I (and the server) would be responsible for it.

I picked the name ‘Naturally Curvy’ for the new site because I wanted it to be about me learning to love myself and my curves as well as learning to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I accept that I will never be – and do not want to be – a toothpick woman. I have hips meant for bearing children, the shoulders of a farmer’s daughter and big ol’ boobs that I love.

But I seem to have missed that message, that original intent I had for this site. I continued on focusing on the scale and doing what I could to get rid of these damned pounds. At one point, I lost weight so fast that my gallbladder had to be removed.

Then we moved. I gained weight. And, despite an increase in exercise and decrease in eating, I can’t seem to get it off.

And I’m left wondering if it’s some divine justice.

I’ve realised lately that I have a lot of anger when it comes to weight loss and body image. I have so much anger bottled up inside and I don’t know what to do with it. I mentioned therapy as a possibility to help me lose weight. But is that missing the point? Is that really going to do any good when all I really want is body acceptance?

I’m not healthy at this weight, I know. The Bloke and I won’t have kids until I lose most of it. And yet… I want to be able to have kids now (not to have them, but be able to have them). I don’t want the weight to be the deciding factor. I want to feel like people love me as I am now (and many do, I’m not saying they don’t, but I don’t always feel it). Part of me is so angry because things depend on me losing weight, while I feel like weight loss won’t be natural if things depend on it.

If that makes any sense.

What would you do to start loving yourself and accepting your curves? Would you throw out the scale? Would you try other things to love yourself while still trying to lose the weight? Would you call a hold on losing the weight until you get the rest sorted out?

I don’t know what to do.

Category: Body, General  4 Comments
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    Starting Weight: 264
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