One of the things I decided to do when starting my new schedule was to make sure the start of my day was computer free. For years I would either get up, exercise and get straight on the computer or I would get up and go straight on the computer.

Partly, this is sad. Partly, it’s kind of understandable given that I work with a lot of people in the US and the earlier I’m on, the better.

So when I started a couple weeks ago, I gave myself time not only for exercise but also for some computer-free time after that. I initially started it as a part of mindful eating because there was never a breakfast that went by when I wasn’t distracted. I realised that I wasn’t giving my breakfast – no matter what it was – any sort of proper attention.

What I didn’t realise is how good I would feel after doing it for just a few days.

After a short time, I began to feel better in the mornings. My outlook was sunnier, I felt more equipped to handle the day… Even days I woke up knowing it was going to be a ‘sensitive’ day weren’t quite so bad because I got a quiet start.

And it wasn’t about a ‘slow’ start either because it was out of bed and onto the Wii Fit board or out for a walk. (Better than a cup of coffee, I reckon.) It was more about not getting out of bed, putting my body through exercise stress and then hopping on the computer straight after for mental stress.

I was getting to the point where just opening up my email to take care of a few things was sending me into a mild panic attack. My heart would race as soon as the inbox was opened.

Yet what started as something I changed for mindful eating practices grew into a mindful anxiety control practice. It’s not an option for me to quit what I do online, but by postponing it for just an hour and getting up earlier so I had more time to relax into the day, I eliminated 99% of the stress.

Yes, I still have bad days, but I feel much better about handling those bad days than I used to.

More than ever, I am seeing that a little bit goes a long way – and in a lot of different directions to boot.

I meant to post before this and have learned my lesson for not writing my ideas down while I have them (they disappear!), but here I am.

Things have been going nicely – though with a few hiccups here and there – since I switched over to cutting bread, pasta and potatoes out of my diet. It hasn’t been 100% (the potatoes came after discovering how I felt after eating them), but it’s been damn close and I’m happy about that.

This weekend I did indulge in some bread, but mostly because I was recovering from getting a very big tattoo and that’s what my body wanted. I gave myself permission to do as I pleased with bread (which wasn’t much, as my stomach has shrunk some) when I got back home from the tattoo place.

As I have mentioned before, I am enlisted at an employment agency that works to help people get to where they need to be able to go out and get a job. I’m still feeling very good about it all, and at the last meeting, I was referred to a clinic of sorts. Because my weight interferes not only with my physical capabilities but with my confidence as well, I can get help with that through the agency. At the clinic, I will be meeting with a team of spcialists – from physios to nutritionists – to help me get to where I want to be.

I’m looking forward to seeing what happens, even though it probably won’t get started until after Christmas.

I do apologise for the slightly foggy update. The tattoo took a lot out of me.

Another relapse. More new fun. This time it comes with ear infection piled on top.

I swear, I’ve spent more time in bed in the past for weeks then I’ve spent awake.

Ah well. Once I’m on my feet again, it’s back to square one.

Life has decided to throw us a few more curve balls. The Bloke’s contract was terminated. He did his job too well and worked through all the backlog. I’m proud as punch of my man, but that’s thrown us into interesting waters again.

I’m not fully recovered from the flu and now it seems The Bloke starting to succumb to it. He’s cheerful, but knowing him, he’s being cheerful for my sake.

I’m in a bit of a black mood right now, I must admit. I’m trying not to get into the mentality of bad things always happening when I start getting the hang of things. I don’t want to go there because it doesn’t serve any purpose.

So here I am, trying to smile as I write this and rolling with the punches.

But I swear, if something happens to the cat or the puppy, I’m going to have some major raging at the universe to do.

The best laid plans… Isn’t that how the saying goes?

Nearly three weeks ago, I started not feeling like myself, but I chalked it up to stress. Two weeks ago, I started feeling better, but then the illness came back leaving me tired and grumpy. Last week, it struck with full vengence, leaving the days a blur of pain, sleep, coughing and other miseries.

The Flu.

I got the flu – the real influenza – for the first time in my life last year in July. It was horrible. Somehow I managed to get it again this year and it was twice as bad. I ended up in the hospital twice (once to check I didn’t have pnuemonia, once when I was coughing up blood).

Needless to say, I’m finally getting past things and am into recovery mode. To think, I started out this whole thing wondering if I’d somehow managed to get knocked up and am now grateful my lady part aren’t operational because any tike would have been put through hell being in my womb through all this.

This whole thing has been a wake up call that I want to be stronger. I don’t want things like this to happen to me. I know that no matter what I do for my health, I will get sick sometimes, but I also know I will be able to handle illness better if I’m healthier from the get go.

I’m still very weak and tired, but that’s just giving me plenty of time to contemplate how I’m going to do things from now on. The flu will not knock me three for three.