Start: 277
Current: 272
Loss: 5 pounds
(No change)
No change, and I’m okay with that. 
I went to see my naturopath this weekend, and I’m thinking that I should ditch my psychologist and just start booking double-appointments with her. I swear we only meet to chat and check in… Haha. This is okay because it is bulk-billed. I’m so happy for that because I really enjoy talking with her.
Even if she thinks I’m a challenge.
Yep. At our appointment, she – very gently – said I was a challenge and things would be difficult. Yet, rather than wilting under such a proclaimation, I found it refreshing. It’s not easy to hear, but I felt like she was not only willing to help me but cared enough to be brutally honest with me.
We talked about my anxiety issues and did a simple drawing demonstration that really let me see that I live with fear – often severe – every day. She talked about how that’s not normal and that people are meant to be able to have entire days pass by without being fearful.
An entire day? No fear? Now that is an interesting concept.
So what we’re doing from here on out is taking everything very gently – as much as it irks my impatience. But the key, for me, is to feel safe in all I do or I won’t last in the long term. I need to feel safe with exercise, which means things I enjoy and things that are gentle enough to not cause injury. I need to feel safe in eating, which – at this point – means having dark chocolate on hand.
I feel a bit pathetic saying chocolate makes me feel safe, but I need to accept the adult my childhood has molded and try to work with it.
So I have a lot to think about this week and plenty to work on. I have a bit of a cold going on right now anyway, so I have plenty of thinking time.
How is everyone else doing?
I’m so sorry I haven’t been around more… I can’t seem to keep up with my reading.
I totally understand the anxiety thing. I’m working on that myself. Exercise has always helped me, but not quite enough anymore. Work in progress.
I don’t think it’s pathetic at all to have comfort in dark chocolate. Why not? It’s comforting and probably lifts some chemical thing inside of you that eases the stress/anxiety.
I love the way you say “I need to accept the adult my childhood has molded and try to work with it.”
Brilliant!
No worries. I’m a bit the same lately. Thank goodness for feed readers, but even that is piling up.
Thank you for stopping by.