Have you ever had one of those days where you’ve woken up in the morning and you’re not quite sure how exactly you managed to survive the previous day?
I felt like that this morning.
First, the numbers.
Starting: 264
Last Week: 224
Current: 222
Weight Loss so Far: 42 pounds
I am so, so glad to see a loss, but I definitely didn’t expect it. Not after yesterday…
Yesterday I got a reminder of why I’m not supposed to drink espresso or have more than one regular coffee in a day. I’m not sure why it happens – still have to research that – but when I drink coffee, I go into severe depression.
Yesterday? Yesterday I did incredibly stupid things and became an absolute nutcase.
It was the second coffee – I highly suspect it was an espresso rather than the regular ol’ flat white I ordered, but I should have expected that from an Italian place – that really did me in. Five minutes after drinking that, I became one of those women who doesn’t care about fighting in public.
Thankfully, I didn’t fight with my husband. Just got a little crabby.
Then? Then we went to the pub and I proceeded to drown my sorrows in three pints of Bulmers and a trio of dips platter. Admittedly, I could have eaten a lot less healthier things, but I didn’t need all the processed white carbs by any means.
Of course, because my superpower is the power of opposite, alcohol – a depressant – proceeded to make me really hyper and I talked a million miles a minute.
I got teary-eyed no less than three times at the pub. I must have scared my husband a bit, but he took it all in stride and took care of me, for which I am eternally grateful.
I don’t know what the heck I was thinking, but I am shocked to see a loss this week after such a self-destructive day like yesterday. But, what it didn’t do to my waistline it did to my mind. I learned my lesson and I’m left feeling quite emotionally and mentally sensitive today.
This is hard to admit, even to a quiet blog, but I think I have to admit it. I have to look at the dark places my mind will go so I never ignore the things I know again.
I just wish I knew why my brain chemistry liked to play opposites with me.