Archive for » August 21st, 2009«

Friday Funny – Priceless

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: ‘Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian’

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son. what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh THAT… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone bitch, I’m married!’”

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the Right thing, at the Right time:

PRICELESS

Walking Day Five – I Love Dogs

german shepherd puppyThough cloudy, I enjoyed this morning’s walk a lot. It had the cool, crispness to it that makes you feel more awake.

Unlike yesterday, quite a few joggers, walkers and cyclists came out to play on the trails this morning. A special moment came when a border collie dashed excitedly around the trail, attempting to sniff anything and everything at once.

He ran up to me and stopped right in front of me, completely halting my walk for a moment. I almost reached out to pet him, but his owner didn’t look too friendly. Of course, he didn’t mind. He ran off about three seconds later, and I could just imagine what was going through his mind:

“We’re on a walk! We’re on a – Smells! New smells! Walkies! Oh, I love walkies. Look at that! Wow! Person! Ooooh, new smell. SMELLS! I LOVE WALKIES!”

So adorable. You just can’t help but smile.

I truly wish we had a dog. I’d love to have the wild exuberance and enthusiasm around me all the time.

Do you have a dog? What are your walks like?

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    Starting Weight: 264
    Goal Weight: 170

    1st Goal: 230 by Christmas 2010

    2nd Goal: 200 by 5/5/11 (Wedding Anniversary)

    3rd Goal: 170 by 10/8/11 (Next Birthday)

    Current Weight: 251

    27/8/10: 251
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