Naturally Curvy

Let’s just get the numbers part done before I get into babbling.

Starting Weight: 264
Last Week: 222
This Week: 228

Pounds Lost: 36

She gained six pounds in one week?! Well, kinda.

I had a mysterious gain late last week that, I think, has everything to do with hormones. While this doesn’t account for all the six pounds, it does account for some of it. TOM starts in less than a week, and I can count on my fingers how many times I haven’t had a significant weight gain before THAT time.

But that’s not all of it. Definitely not.

You see, having lost the plot a bit last week and generally feeling like crap, I did two things wrong:

1. Ate above appropriate portion sizes. Portion sizes are something I’m trying to watch in effort to curb my binge eating problem.

2. I drank. Too much.

The husband and I went away on an overnighter, as he had taken last Friday and Monday off as a winding down time. All this weekend, I have eaten too much and, while at our favourite little pub/hotel, I put the new barman to the test by ordering a grasshopper. Or two. And a couple of shots that you slam rather than sip.

So yeah, not ice cream pig-out horrible, but not good, either.

The weird thing is that I’m seeing this gain, but I’m not horribly upset. And that’s not because I’m blaming it all on hormones.

The thing is that I know I could have eaten better, but I know I chose not to. I chose to do what I did fully knowing the influence it could have on my weight and knowing that I was already having hormone-induced fluctuations.

But I did it. And I’m okay with that.

I’m not off the wagon or anything. If anything, I’m more strongly back on the right path. This weekend has given me a smack up the face reminder that I am an adult and I am responsible for my health and happiness. Period.

The food was delicious and totally worth it. The drinks were fun, but I won’t be doing it again for a long, long time.

There. Life moves on. Time to get back on regular plan.

Easy peasy. Next week will be better.

Now if only ‘getting back on the wagon’ had always been so easy…

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, “It doesn’t get any better than this.”

And God said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit,” and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, “There goes the neighborhood.”

And God said, “Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth.” And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, “I know how I can get back in this game.”

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: “You want fries with that?” And Man said: “Supersize them.” And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, “Try my crispy fresh salad.”

And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry’s. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, “I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them.”

And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, “You’re running up the score, Devil.”

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And the Devil canceled Man’s health insurance.

Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu.

And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: “Do I look fat?”

And the Devil said, “Always tell the truth.” And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

Have you ever been going along just fine, things have been going well and suddenly you just lose the plot?

I feel like I have lost the plot with my weight loss lately.

I don’t know if it’s just a funk I am in lately or all the stress that has happened with the site switches and everything. Or maybe it’s just that I’m very sensitive and the fact that ALL my girlfriends are in a moody funk right now is getting to me.

I tell myself I won’t gain the weight back. And I know, on some level, that I won’t. But I’ve still gained this week and I don’t like it one bit.

The thing that pisses me off a bit is the fact that I’ve been pretty good. I haven’t been perfect, but most of my indulgences have come in the form of yummy hummus, having a veggie burger on bread instead of just alone.

Of course, tomorrow the husband and I are heading out on an overnighter. It shouldn’t be a big deal food wise (the place we’re going to has fantastic food, but it’s good, natural food) but food is still a stress to lately.

I can handle two days. Easy. But I know that when we get back, I need to go through the cupboards, get rid of anything detrimental to my health objectives, stock up on my meal replacement stuff and, most importantly, get back to exercising.

For now I’m just going to try not to stress about it too much. I’ve still lost more weight than I ever have. I just need to get a grip on things before I go back to my big pants…

I know exercise isn’t my forté, but I didn’t expect to have to stop a week and a half in…

The other night I screwed up my back something fierce, putting myself into a massive amount of pain all the way around my lower ribs and lower back. As you can imagine, getting right out there the next morning for a fitness walk wasn’t exactly my highest priority.

When I did give walking a go, I ended up either limping slightly or doing this very unattractive waddle.

Mmm. Get me some of that fat girl, yeah?

Anyway, so I took yesterday off and I’m taking today off as well. The pain has (thank the health gods) moved away from my ribs and is mostly settled into my hips, which is infinitely more tolerable. The limp seems to have disappeared for today, but I’m still being extra careful, as the husband and I have an overnight trip coming up, and the last thing I want to do is mess things up again.

I know I’m doing the best thing for my spine and my hips, but I can’t help feeling disappointed still. I had a good thing going.

Have you ever had one of those days where you’ve woken up in the morning and you’re not quite sure how exactly you managed to survive the previous day?

I felt like that this morning.

First, the numbers.

Starting: 264
Last Week: 224
Current: 222

Weight Loss so Far: 42 pounds

I am so, so glad to see a loss, but I definitely didn’t expect it. Not after yesterday…

Yesterday I got a reminder of why I’m not supposed to drink espresso or have more than one regular coffee in a day. I’m not sure why it happens – still have to research that – but when I drink coffee, I go into severe depression.

Yesterday? Yesterday I did incredibly stupid things and became an absolute nutcase.

It was the second coffee – I highly suspect it was an espresso rather than the regular ol’ flat white I ordered, but I should have expected that from an Italian place – that really did me in. Five minutes after drinking that, I became one of those women who doesn’t care about fighting in public.

Thankfully, I didn’t fight with my husband. Just got a little crabby.

Then? Then we went to the pub and I proceeded to drown my sorrows in three pints of Bulmers and a trio of dips platter. Admittedly, I could have eaten a lot less healthier things, but I didn’t need all the processed white carbs by any means.

Of course, because my superpower is the power of opposite, alcohol – a depressant – proceeded to make me really hyper and I talked a million miles a minute.

I got teary-eyed no less than three times at the pub. I must have scared my husband a bit, but he took it all in stride and took care of me, for which I am eternally grateful.

I don’t know what the heck I was thinking, but I am shocked to see a loss this week after such a self-destructive day like yesterday. But, what it didn’t do to my waistline it did to my mind. I learned my lesson and I’m left feeling quite emotionally and mentally sensitive today.

This is hard to admit, even to a quiet blog, but I think I have to admit it. I have to look at the dark places my mind will go so I never ignore the things I know again.

I just wish I knew why my brain chemistry liked to play opposites with me.