Today is weigh-in day. Have I weighed in? Yep. Am I going to post the numbers here? Nope.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about everything that is going on in my life that has to do with food and weight loss. I have a binge eating past (recent past). I have childhood abuses that are linked to the way I look at food now. I have something going on in my system that is making weight loss some weird game with no regular rules. (I think I need to ‘wake up’ my digestive system. We’ll see what the doc says on Thursday.)

Anyway, with all this stuff going on and with the five pounds I gain before a TOM, I have decided to stop posting weigh-ins for right now. Until I get my body on the correct track (which is what I have been trying to do, I promise) of being able to lose weight, all that these weigh-ins do is depress me.

I will be keeping track of my weight in the notebook where I keep track of what I eat, how much I drink, exercise, etc. I’m not quitting weight tracking altogether.

The problem arises when I weigh in with no change or some gain I can’t explain and I feel like I have disappointed all of you. I know, I know – you’ll all tell me that’s a heap of rubbish. But only my logical mind can accept that. My emotional mind is still, most of the time, a scared little girl who just wants people to be happy with her.

Call it a screwed up after-affect of my upbringing or just me being weird. Either way, the more I read and learn lately, the more I realize that I need to do what I know in my gut to be right for me.

And right now, not displaying my weight stats to the world is what is right for me.