Yeah, this is another one of those weeks I just don’t want to weigh in. But, as Jenera was kind enough to remind me, we do this to hold ourselves accountable…

And so I shall.

CW: 262

I am well and truly at my highest (known) weight. It’s not a good feeling, but I’m – surprisingly – not freaking as much as I was last week. For a few reasons…

1. I’ve probably b*tched and moaned about it enough and you’re sick of hearing about it, but Melbourne went through a pretty serious heat wave last week. I drank heaps of water but was still visiting the loo the same amount – even a little less at a guess. Which means I’m retaining what litres I didn’t pee or sweat out.

2. Because of the heat and having to escape to air conditioned places to avoid complete brain melt, I didn’t get time on the elliptical. I’m back at it today and am looking forward to seeing my results next week.

3. On the 12th I’m going to hopefully get some answers to all the frustrated questions I have been having.

4. It’s not about the numbers; it’s about how I’m feeling mentally, emotionally and physically. I do myself no favours by stressing myself over this.

5. It’s a beginning. Yeah, I’m at my highest weight, but that means I can start over and really dig my heels in. I’ll probably start the weigh in week numbers over after I’ve been to the clinic… but then again, maybe I won’t. I’ve come this far. No need to pretend it didn’t happen just because something is wonky and I’ve gained.

So here I am. Deep breaths, exercise, and keeping calm. I’ll make it. You’ll make it.

We all will.

P.S. I have a lot of ‘catching up’ to do if I want to make it to 6000 minutes on the elliptical, but don’t worry – I haven’t forgotten about it!