Naturally Curvy

It’s a long holiday weekend here in Oz, so I slept in and had the pleasure of doing so next to my husband. Not having to deal with the alarm and having the husband home, it wasn’t until after I took a shower that I realized it is Monday. I dried myself with the towel and though, “Oh, Monday. That means weigh in.”

But as I got dressed and prepared to start work for the day (someday I’ll take a real holiday), I thought about how I have been feeling about losing weight lately. I thought about how I have been closer to just giving up completely, for good, than I have ever been. Yes, I’ve fallen off the wagon before, but never have I wanted to purposely just stop.

I also thought about an email I received over the weekend from my lovely friend Jenera. In the email, she said:

“I’ve taken breaks in weight loss (and life) before and it really helps. You might just need to take the next month to focus on YOU-not your body, just you. I know it helps me quite a bit. I think if you keep up with the exercise, still eat healthy, and have the hubby hide the scale, you might be able to refocus a bit and not be too hard on yourself. The fact that you’ve been sticking with the positive changes is a huge accomplishment!”

And she’s right. I have been so focused on numbers, pounds, losing weight, that I have lost focus on me, JM, the person inside. I have been slowly turning myself into someone who judges myself based on my looks instead of based on the beautiful person I know I am.

So for the entire month of June, I’m hiding the scale. Whether it turns out to be a bad or good thing in terms of pounds, I don’t care. I need to focus on me, take care of me, and remember why I started getting fit in the first place.

Another week and another weigh in. Weighing in this week after hitting the weights last week was not something I was looking forward to at all, but one must do what one must do, yes?

SW: 256
LW: 248
CW: 250

Bah.

A gain is definitely not what I wanted to see this week, but I suppose it’s not completely surprising given how much I’ve been hauling into doing the weights work. Now I just need to put in that extra mile with drinking enough water and the weight should come back off.

When I first saw a gain on the scale, I was quite upset. Then I reminded myself that a.) it’s about that womanly time of the month, b.) I’ve been working on weights the past week and c.) I should go on how I feel, not what the scale says.

Bottom line? I’m feeling great and that’s what should matter, not what the scale says. That’s what it’s about in the end, isn’t it? Feeling better? Getting fit? Heck, if I feel great at 170, I’ll stay happy at 170 and not kill myself over getting to 156.

Maybe it’s the fat acceptance blogs I’ve been reading lately or maybe it’s purely my mood, but I am sick of feeling like a slave to the scale. To numbers. I just want to be healthy and happy, and that is what I will continue to pursue – no matter what the scale says.

Have an awesome week.