It’s that time again, and I am more than less than enthused about the prospect. But I hopped (stepped) on the scale this morning anyway. This is what I saw…
SW: 256
LW: 248
CW: 248
I’m beginning to really dislike the number 248…
It’s the last Monday of the month and I’m left feeling like a failure. While we’re told often to focus on things besides the numbers on the scale and I know that it’s hard for someone with insulin resistance and PCOS to lose weight, it’s still hard.
I haven’t felt as committed or motivated this month to getting fit and that’s been hard to deal with. No one motivation works all of the time, but it would be nice to have two or three really strong ones that will always get me through the hard times.
Honestly, I just don’t care that much about myself. I know I want to get fit and deserve better, but… Maybe it’s because of my background or maybe it’s something else, but some days it gets really hard to answer the question, “What’s the point?”
Yet, even with all this, I worked out harder than I have worked out in a long time at the gym today. I was in a pissed off mood (which is great for gym time) and ended up pushing past what I thought were some of my limits.
At least I had that to work with. It felt great.
As a new month starts soon, I am going to make a recommitment to my health.
After all, no one is going to do it for me.