Naturally Curvy

It’s that time again, and I am more than less than enthused about the prospect. But I hopped (stepped) on the scale this morning anyway. This is what I saw…

SW: 256
LW: 248
CW: 248

I’m beginning to really dislike the number 248…

It’s the last Monday of the month and I’m left feeling like a failure. While we’re told often to focus on things besides the numbers on the scale and I know that it’s hard for someone with insulin resistance and PCOS to lose weight, it’s still hard.

I haven’t felt as committed or motivated this month to getting fit and that’s been hard to deal with. No one motivation works all of the time, but it would be nice to have two or three really strong ones that will always get me through the hard times.

Honestly, I just don’t care that much about myself. I know I want to get fit and deserve better, but… Maybe it’s because of my background or maybe it’s something else, but some days it gets really hard to answer the question, “What’s the point?”

Yet, even with all this, I worked out harder than I have worked out in a long time at the gym today. I was in a pissed off mood (which is great for gym time) and ended up pushing past what I thought were some of my limits.

At least I had that to work with. It felt great.

As a new month starts soon, I am going to make a recommitment to my health.

After all, no one is going to do it for me.

This weigh in is coming to you a little late, and I apologize for that. I do promise, though, that I weigh myself this morning. I just didn’t get the chance to write up the weigh in post. Things have been crazy stressful for me lately, but I’ll talk more about that later.

Now for the weigh in!

SW: 256
LW: 248
CW: 248

So, still no loss, but that’s okay with me, to be honest. Being on the road and being under a lot of stress otherwise has led me off the straight and narrow path a bit, so I’m happy that I haven’t gained anything (which I was sure I did).

It’s at times of high stress that make me feel like I need to gorge. Perhaps it’s the old instincts passed down over the many generations as a ‘flight or fight’ type of mentality, or maybe I’m still holding on to the times when all I really had for comfort was food.

They are things I really need to think about it I’m going to make progress.

This week isn’t looking good for a lot of gym time, but that’s okay because I need to really put my focus on to drinking more water. This has become a big problem for me because I’m not drinking nearly as much water as I used to. I feel like my lack of doing so is causing some of the headaches I’m having now.

Obviously my plan is to work in drinking more water.

What is your plan for the week? How is your healthy journey going?