Naturally Curvy

Starting: 264
Last week: 226
Current: 230

*sigh* Blame Time of Month.

I went to get the mail this morning – something I quite enjoy doing as I review books, am a member of PostCrossing, and do swaps with people from all over the world – and I was disappointed to find a single letter. A bill (most likely). For my husband. (Mwhahaha… Oh, we both pay the bills. Hrmph.)

Well, that little bit of disappointment got me thinking that it can be the same way for many of our virtual mailboxes on our blogs.

And I plan to solve that.

Welcome to the first ever Monday Mailbag. This is where you pick up your weekly letter from yours truly, answer it on your blog, and leave a note here so everyone who participates can read your response. Easy peasy! So consider this your first reader letter.

This week’s reader question from YOUR Monday Mailbag is this:

When and why did you get started on the journey to lose weight/get fit/tone up/the whole nine yards?

Tell me the date, time, epiphany, reason, episode of Oprah, whatever was involved to start you on your way. Go into as much or little detail as you want.

And remember to leave a link to your response in the comments section! The whole point of this is to reach out, connect, and find out more about

If you are going to participate and would like another graphic that is smaller, just let me know. I am happy to put some different sizes up.

After making a promise to myself and my readers on The New Australian about Blogging Naked – meaning blogging with more honesty and openness – I’m making good on that promise. I’m talking about what is going on instead of disappearing from my blogs.

When I don’t post, it’s not because I have nothing to say.

I stop posting for two reasons: I get busy or I’m struggling with depression. Lately? It’s a lot more about the latter than the former.

Like way too many people, I had a childhood that left me like a particularly large onion: a lot of layers. For a long time, since before I came to Australia, I have worked through these layers. In an effort to become a better person and figure out the reasons for my less pleasant behaviours.

As you can imagine, the process is not easy. Who wants to face the lies they have told, excuses they have made and chances they deliberately missed out of fear/anger/stubbornness/etc? Even so, I’ve kept on.

But with each layer I peel back and discover, feelings come pouring out. Because of the circumstances that made these layers, the old feelings are often negative. Nothing is more heartbreaking than the fear of a little girl, even if the event happened years ago.

Feeling those things over again, exposing the raw wounds, often sends me into depression. I can handle those things better now that I am an adult, but the pain still exists. And when it’s hard to get myself to take a shower, blogging isn’t my highest priority.

I’m dealing with things the best I can, even if it means crying, interrupting my husband at work with a phone call or just plain admitting to myself (and to my husband) that I’m having one of my ‘crazy days’.

I choose not to be medicated because, frankly, I think going for the causes instead of masking the symptoms is the way to go. I know my depression stems from my past. I know that dealing with all the things I have dealt with so far has made me a stronger, happier person.

Sometimes it’s all about saying the words to someone and getting them out of your head. Some days I need a cuddle. And some days I just can’t blog or get out of my pyjamas or face the world because it’s just too much.

On other days, it’s blogging and the friends I have met online that get me through the toughest times of my life.

For that, I thank you more than you will ever know and thank you for your understanding during the quiet times.

Starting: 264
Last week: 226
Current: 226

Let’s break it down bullet style.

*Weight… Weight has not been my priority lately, and I’m feeling the affects of it. I’m feeling more sluggish, most days I have a runny nose all the time and I just don’t feel right about myself emotionally. I’ve decided I’m sick and tired of letting myself bullshit away all this valuable time. The only person who can lose my weight is me.

*The New Template – I’m trying out this new template. Do you like it? I think it’s okay… I loved the old template, but I could not get the words to appear any bigger and it was driving me nuts. I’m still on the lookout for a nicer template, but I’ll see how this one goes for a while first. I’m definitely open to suggestions.

*Tuesdays – I’ll be checking in on Tuesdays from now on so Monday can have just Monday Mailbox. It doesn’t make much difference to me, since I’m usually running late and checking in on Tuesday anyway.

*The Universe… is trying to give me a hand, I think. After having to walk all over the suburbs because I’m a penny pincher and didn’t want to get a taxi both ways to the hospital and having to walk heaps more than usual because of my doctor’s appointment the next day, I am very sore. However, I think it’s the Universe forcing me to get through the sore stage and get used to more exercise!

I know, it sounds a bit wonky. But instead of letting this progress (aka soreness) go to waste, I’m keeping on with it. I walked to the post office and back today and plan on prodding The Bloke into a walk after work.

It’s the best start I never wanted. Haha.

…

And that’s it for now. I have more to talk about, but those topics are for posts rather than bullets.